Is Hell exothermic or Endothermic?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only A.

Summer Nights/ Oh - Alcohol

Bruises color limbs in the heat.
I’m ok Mama says,
She says it’s nothing.
Everything is tidy. Everything is tidy.

Barefoot and battered,
She wobbles to pick up broken dishes.
Oh, Alcohol – Oh, Alcohol
A hymn to bottled idols.

Her face is a southern peach
Ballooned and blemished.
You can’t pick the rotten ones
She would say at the supermarket.

Daddy’s friends are over –
I can smell their laughter,
Oh, Alcohol – Oh, Alcohol
Timeless friends and television.

Love is unpredictable Love is uncontainable
Love is reliable Love is infallible

Love is right Love is wrong
Love is weak Love is strong

Love is good Love is pure
Love is real Love is sure

Love is jealous Love is pain
Love is lost Love is gained

Love is naked Love is raw
Love is everything Love is all

Love is here Love is there
Love is beautiful Love is fair

Love is great Love is shit
Love is demanding Love is it....

Two eyes across a crowded room,
A spark, electric, in the gloom,
A fleeting glimpse of one with whom,
You could feel truly free.
For one long beat, the contact held,
A time in which you are enspelled,
A time in which two souls could meld,
If only this could be.

Then comes a smile to match those eyes
A gentle voice invites your sighs
A touch as soft as butterflies
That brush you tenderly
A voice that flows like liquid gold
That warms your senses in its folds,
And gives you in your heart to hold
The hope that this could be.

You feel the pulsing of your heart
And then your breathing, and you start
To notice thoughts and pictures dart
That only you can see
All sights and sounds just fade away,
For you, a single voice holds sway,
A single face, as clear as day
Is all your world can be.

As but a child these feelings grew
Inside, as even then you knew
You'd meet one day with someone who
You'd love so tenderly.
A thousand years might come and pass
You'll feel these feelings to the last
And still remember that day past
Those feelings came to be

But then disaster! Has she heard
A careless thought? A thoughtless word?
Can no-one tell you what occurred
To bring such misery?
Those eyes, that voice, their absence rends
A void that nothing else can mend
Oh Lord, how grim! How bleak the end
If this should never be!

And yet if this should be the one,
That perfect loving companion
To love you through those years to come,
You always knew could be.
Those glory years still yet to come
Are surely not to be undone
So simply, not if you be strong
Then you can be make it be.

You feel once more that fire within,
As boldness forges steel therein
Which whispers that you still may win
That love 'twas meant to be.
That fire within you grows and feeds,
And spreading through you, burning, needs
Some consummation in your deeds,
And you can make it be.

If gods and angels could assign
A Perfect Love, let this be thine
The heights of passion to define
Oh Lord, oh let it be!
Hearts and Spirits Intertwined,
A love that glows like Autumn Wine,
A bond that trancends Space and Time,
And you can make it be.

And you can make it be.