Things That I Often Think About (And Probably Have Answers That I Am Too Lazy To Look Up)

If x is any real number, what is the probability that it is zero? The probability is 0. Therefore, x is not zero. If x is any real number, and it is not zero, does this mean that zero is not a real number? What about 1? 2? I'm so glad to not be a mathematician.

Infinity is a frightening concept. I used to think that everything in the universe is bounded, but eventually I learned that there are galaxies that are moving away from each other at greater than the speed of light. That means that there are conceivably bits of matter than would require infinite time in order to reach, and are an infinitely far distance away from us (since an object moving away from us at higher than the speed of light cannot be measured, according to our current knowledge of the universe).

On the flip side, I've heard that things cannot be infinitely small. There is apparently a minimum distance, beyond which smaller distances make no physical sense. Given, this distance is something on the order of 10^-35's, so it doesn't really mean much to us. This minimum distance would confirm what I've suspected for a while now, which is that there is no such thing as a perfect circle, and that there are no such things as tangent lines, let alone lines. (But on the contrary)

This would imply that the universe has a positive infinity, yet does not have an infinite amount of precision (that is, it is truly discrete.)

Does information consist of some sort of matter or energy? How does a subatomic particle interact with another subatomic particle? With a smaller subatomic particle? And how do those interact? You might begin to see a problem here.

What is the universe? I assume that outside of the universe there is either nothing or something. If there is nothing, what is the opposite of nothing? What exactly is nothing? Surely there is a difference between a vacuum and the total lack of existence.

Exactly how much affect does the flapping of the butterfly's wings have on the other side of the world? Is this a measurable effect? And to that end, does the flapping butterfly have an effect on the moon? On Jupiter? On Alpha Centauri? In another galaxy? Does it have an effect on a vacuum?

Is it possible for the universe to repeat itself at any point? That is, has the universe ever had every single bit of matter in the exact same place as it was a moment ago? If not, no experiment can be perfect. If no experiment can be perfect, then no knowledge can be scientifically proven. If no knowledge can be proven, can there be a single truth, despite the fact that it is unknowable? If no truth exists, then logic cannot exist as truth, yet the idea of truth not existing depends on the existence on logic.

One of my favorite thought experiments is Schroedinger's Cat. Why does such a conundrum even exist? Why are things not knowable, or not possible? Why are things possible? (Same as the tree that falls in the forest example.)

What does it mean to be all-knowing? Is there an infinite amount of information in the universe? Is the amount of information increasing at a faster rate than the ability to know or recall the information? If information is increasing at a faster rate than the ability to know it, how can anything be all-knowing?

If there are more than the four appreciable dimensions, we must exist in those other dimensions. What separates existing with four appreciable dimensions from existing in more than four dimensions?

What do synesthetes see/hear/feel/taste/smell?

Why is the sky so utterly vast? If space is infinitely large, then why am I able to perceive any given amount of it? Isn't any given amount of space literally 0% of the total amount of space? I would occupy literally 0% of space, so I should not exist. This is referring back to the first point, I know.

Why do humans presume to know anything at all? Clearly, nothing we know is more than 0% of the sum total of everything, nor is any amount of information. We exist in literally 0% of total space, yet we are only occupied by ourselves.

What is the real capacity of a human brain? Does it contain our personalities? How about our emotions? What about our character? Finally, what about our souls? Is a soul a bit of matter or energy that exists in this universe? Does a soul even exist, in the most strict definition of "exist"?

If I sleep earlier every day until my sleep schedule is back to normal, will I be able to keep that sleep schedule? Remember, these are just thought experiments.

Desire

Curt walked up to the window, knowing that he could never cross the quarter-inch thick glass to the other side. He pressed his face up against it, trying to get as close to the other side as he could.

He closed his eyes and imagined passing through the glass, face first, running to his prize. This drove Curt crazy. He opened his eyes and looked around for a hard object. He found that someone had used a hefty rock to weigh down a trash can lid across the street. Without even contemplating his actions, he was lugging the rock back across the street to the window.

As he gathered momentum rocking his arms back and forth, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in the glass. His thoughts were catching up with his actions. He didn't want to think; it would drown out fire inside him; it would make him question whether it was really worth the trouble. Refusing reason and a second more of time, he threw the rock at his reflection... breaking it.

An alarm sounded, but he did not hear it. Faced with nothing but intangible air and his prize, something suddenly hit him. He was scared, very scared. He was about to obtain something he knew he would never have. He looked at it as it stared back, waiting to see whether destiny would be rewritten. Of course, destiny can never be rewritten; destiny is destiny. The object knew this, and it was only a matter of time before the man realized this.

It didn't take very long for the man to realize. He thought he had changed destiny, but he hadn't. The only thing he changed was the barrier preventing him from having the unobtainable object. He stared at the object in full desire but also in full inaction. The object stared at him, fully cognizant of their relationship and the destiny shared by the two. The man stared back.

The man averted his eyes as tears started streaming down his face. Fear capitalized on the opportunity and drowned him. Having broken eye contact with the object, his desire was engulfed in the imperfections of the world. He turned around and ran as fast as he could.

The object stared back at him, even as he was out of sight; its gaze the same as it always was: unchanged. It saw the desire, the passion, the rage... but was unmoved.

The object did not recognize him. For of what importance is someone to something destiny has not allotted for?

Quote from a story I've abandoned

Though the story might never reach the light of day, may this quote be passed on and appreciated.

“Well, I better get going.” I said, unsure of how else to break the awkward silence. She snapped out of her thoughts and led the way to the door. As she opened it for me, she said “It was very nice meeting you mister Li” and gave me a perfect smile. It was paralyzing. It’s shocking how such a simple gesture can be so powerful, like how playing an F# instead of an F changes an entire key and emotion.

hubba hubba

(read with rhythm)

tick, tock, drip, drop,
licky licky flip, flop,
one, step, skip, hop,
lock it bring it make it pop.

make a mooove through it down there
take some cooool dips down through air
drop it looow crank it bank it
use some sass and flip that hair with flair.

won't you work all day, sweatin'
don't you work all night, sweatin'
can't you work it every way,
ain't you workin' without pay?

bring it out to here, break it,
ain't nothing far too sheer just fake it,
please girl don't show fear, we'll see it,
please girl take this beer believe it.

please girl try and make believe it,
please girl really make me see it.

LNYF Skit: The Story of Tigerman and the GG Squad.

Stay tuned.

I hate trains

For me to be able to write something that I like, I have to be in the right mood. Unfortunately, it is usually a semi-depressed, highly introspective mood that gets my mind flowing.

I deleted (equivalent of tearing up) the script that I was writing for LNYF today, because it had no heart. Sure it was funny and happy, but to me it lacked value. I sought to induce a mood of self-depression and introspection today. The ordeal took me from 6pm to now.

The method of choice was to read the synopsis of as many Wang Kar Wai films and to revisit the plots of some of the more depressing stories/movies I've read/seen over the years (ea. Grave of Fireflies). After about two hours, I thought of something brilliant.

The new mail sorter that finds a collection of old letters the post office has been keeping because it can't be delivered and there is no return address. They are ordered by a simple rubber band, and the letters all come from same pen. Where it goes from there is lost to me. I don't think I could develop it anymore. I threw that sheet of paper into the recycle bin.

I stumbled across this movie that I had never heard of before. The title screamed "sentimental" and I ate it up. After watching it for an hour, I have induced the sadness that I need to write, but I don't want to. The simplicity of a missed exchange or the meekness of both parties can tear lives apart. Wanting to make a move but never doing so is like wanting to live but not taking a step forward. It pains me to see such deep desire hindered by self-depreciation and fear.

The mere tug of a shirt is not enough sometimes. Silent tears fall without meaning.

I hate trains.
Trains allow too much time for thought. One gets on to visit his childhood sweetheart, but thinks too much on the train. One gets on the train to return home and is brainwashed by another passenger on the train. Two people cross train tracks and feel the connection as the rails come down and trains pass. One looks back and waits. The other walks away.

It really strikes me how words can be so beautiful when carefully chosen.

a self-evaluation (for college students) #1

let's take a moment to examine ourselves. this is for those of us that have grown accustomed to the college life. i have appropriately tainted everything with my bias.

the day typically begins with waking up. sometimes the day begins with a strange dream from which you wake, but regardless, all days begin with waking save those during which you do not wake. is your mind awake? if not, try again: go back to the previous sentence. what do you think about first? do you debate going back to sleep? do you consider each little task to complete during the entire day? do you fall somewhere in-between, knowing what is for breakfast but not dinner? (think now: what does how you start your day say about how you're starting your life? are you taking things one step at a time? do you go with the flow? are you rigid? do you know where you'll be 5 years from now? is knowing part of being responsible?)

you rise. perhaps you urinate first. perhaps you brush. perhaps you shower. most of us dress. what do you consider when you dress? are you more concerned with looking good or feeling good? are you choosing between free t-shirts or are you considering which hat would go best with the top? is your mismatched outfit deliberate? do you put on make up? what is a sarong, anyway? (think now: what does your style of dress say about your concerns? evaluate: just how independent of a person are you?)

some of us eat breakfast. some of us check our emails before moving out. you walk (or drive, or bike) to class. let's say for the sake of our evaluating that you walk to class. how do you walk to class? do you move briskly, or do you stroll along? do you wave hello to everybody you know, or do you hope to see nobody you know? do you listen to music, or do you move in silence? are you wondering what the people you don't know think of you as you pass by, or are you wondering about just how late you're going to be if you don't pick up the pace? (think now: what does your preferred interaction with friends along the way say about your preferred social setting? what does your preference for music or silence say about how much thinking or not thinking you're doing? what does your daily performance strutting to class or daily jog to class say about your concerns? just how much do you think about yourself, anyway?)

let's say you get to class. did you bring a laptop to class? if so, is it to perform the previously mentioned activities instead of paying attention, or are you actually taking notes? speaking of notes, do you take notes because everybody does it, or are you actually listening? or are you sleeping? did you sleep early the night before so you could stay awake, or was that time spent catching up to the material you slept through already? is there even such a thing as catching up for you? do you understand the material, or are you just getting by to get by? did you skip this step of your day? more specific: do you actually care about the economics of sub-Saharan Africa, or do you just fancy yourself sophisticated? is psychology actually going to become useful for you, ever? do tensors matter? what is a caesura? (think now: what does bringing your laptop to class really do for you? what does your note-taking style (or lack thereof) say about your learning strategy? what does your level of preparation for class say about your understanding of the impact of each and every class on your future? what impact does each and every class have on your future?)

at some point, you eat. or not. but let's say you do. what do you eat? do you eat healthy? do you eat healthy to say something, or do you eat healthy so you can say something? or do you eat healthy because eating healthy is good for you? (why exactly is eating healthy good for you, anyway? on the flip side, replace healthy in the previous several sentences with unhealthy) regardless, eating is a communal thing. or is it. do you choose between eating alone or with people, or do you choose between eating with this group or that group? does it matter to you who you are seen eating with? would you prefer to be in the sole company of an attractive girl, or would you prefer to be in the company of several close guys? (ladies, reverse it.) what do you think of people that make the opposite choice? do you always eat with the same people, or do you find something new, always something new? (think now: do you even enjoy that tofu-burger? what is a few more pounds, anyway? what does your diet say about what is important to you? what does your company say about what you value?)

perhaps you return for more classes. what do you do after classes? study at the library? find your friends to hang with? retreat back to your humble abode? are you worried about the work you have to do, or are you just tired of thinking about academics? do you follow a normal routine or do you do whatever comes to mind? are there meetings and whatnot that you must attend, or are there events and planning to do that you look forward to? if not, do you find the nearest computer terminal and diligently check 3 different social networking sites? do you read the news, and if so, are you reading world news, politics, technology, business, fashion, sports, or the funnies? do read to learn or do you read to be entertained? maybe you read nothing. (think now: what do your after class activities say about your attitude toward classes and learning? about your attitude toward social activeness: apathetic? if you do check too many social networking sites or if you live by any one social networking site, why is it so appealing? what did people do without those sites? how is it that you unwind, and why do you need unwinding after a few hours of class?)

some of us do schoolwork. eventually, we all do some schoolwork, or else we would cease to be here. but some of us also don't do schoolwork on any given day. do you do work all the time, some of the time, or none of the time? is work something to be done sooner or later? if sooner, what drives you to work diligently? if later, what distracts you from working diligently? (think now: if diligent and work are never in the same thought for you, why not? what does your work ethic say about your attitude for your future? what does your work ethic say about you and instant gratification? do you have patience? do you have maturity? is your attitude toward work about excuses or about sweat?)

let's ignore social things. that's another whole thing on its own.

maybe you eat again. that was covered. maybe you fiddle around some more. eventually we go to sleep again (unless we're catching up, but that was covered as well). when do you sleep? do you sleep when you are tired, sleep when you are afraid of not sleeping, or sleep when everybody else has gone to sleep? if you sleep when you are tired, are you tired at 10pm or 2am? or 3am? or 4am? if you sleep for fear, do you not sleep at a fixed time, or do you just get up at different times every day? do you sleep when nobody else is left because you were squeezing out the last drop of attention from everybody else? do you sleep well, or do you sleep fitfully? (think now: if sleeping is a chore for you, when are you going to grow old already? sheesh. what does the trigger for your sleep say about the value you place in sleep? just how valuable is sleep anyway? remember that a human must breath, eat, and sleep in order to stay alive. if you can't sleep well, what keeps you up at night? if you sleep well, is it because you have something warm inside, or is it because you're just dead tired?)


and some of us dream. do you dream? (think now: do you dream?)


perhaps some summary questions: what is important enough to you that it changes your daily schedule? do you offer yourself time to think and evaluate yourself? are you growing into a responsible adult?